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tennis

Perseverance vs Stubbornness

May 30, 2019 by Elizabeth Drake

When does perseverance become stubbornness?

Said another way, when is sticking with an endeavor the wrong thing to do?

This is a tough question, but also an important one.

Many times, I feel like if things are too hard, we as a society quit. That if something doesn’t come to us right away, there are so many other things to distract us that we don’t have to fight for it.

Success

But some of us don’t know when to let go. Facebook has proven that to me.

There has to be a middle ground.

When I was in high school, I loved tennis. It was a fast sport, kept my attention as I chased the fuzzy yellow ball, and involved no physical contact. But I understood even then that no matter how many hours I put into the sport (and I put in quite a lot), I would never be as good as the best player on our team. In her freshman year, she was already #1 on the varsity team and ranked in the top players in the state.

I didn’t have the raw talent she did, and even with hours and hours of practice every day, I knew I’d never get a college scholarship playing tennis, much less go pro.

Perseverance2

I knew enough to let tennis go and focus on my studies. Not always an easy choice, particulatly with the emphasis on sports in high school, but the right one.

I faced a similar issue with deciding between perseverance and stubbornness on a story I recently started.

I’d based it loosely on Romeo and Juliet…

Except it was two kingdoms instead of two families

And Romeo was a responsible and war-hardened prince

And there was going to be a happily-ever-after.

Okay, so nothing like Romeo and Juliet.

RomeoJulietNotRomance.png
Still not sure why people think it is a romance.

I had characters in mind for the story and a rough idea of what would happen. This is normal for my pantser self. But more than that, my muse wasn’t just sitting on my shoulder, she was screaming in my ear.

The words flowed until somewhere around the five-thousand word mark, and then my muse turned silent. I plodded along a little more, then I went back and reread my work.

My war-hardened prince was distant and unresponsive.

My heroine waffled between the demure personality I had envisioned and the strong-willed woman she wanted to be.

My external-to-the-romance plot was held together with paperclips and sticky notes.

Yeah, it was a hot mess.

And I didn’t want to edit it. I didn’t want to fix it. And I was only 5,000 words in.

My thoughts kept drifting to the heroine’s older brother, thinking maybe I should tell his story first and come back to her.

This time, rather than jumping into the story, I mulled over his character. How his kingdom fits into my larger world. What the ramifications are of having been a pocket kingdom beholden to an undead abomination. How much the royal family would sacrifice to protect their people.

It helped me create a solid character.

CharactersPlot
Never really had a plot to begin with

His love interest started to take shape at that point. I tried several different characters, until I found one that worked.

As I’m still working through edits on other stories and not ready to start a new novel, I decided to take my new characters on role-playing test drives. Basically, bouncing them through different “what-ifs” to see how they work together.

In each different scenario, I had to do something to “break” the hero to get through the layers of propriety, duty, and honor that defines him.

But it defines him. I can’t break that and have still be him.

After four or five different scenarios, I finally came up with one I think works. Yes, it removes three characters I had thought were essential. (hint: they weren’t).

But it lets the hero be the man he is all the way through the story. No need to “break” who he is to get him to fall in love. And that feels right.

Now, to find the time to write this…

What this taught me was persistence is important, but so is knowing when to let go and try something else. I haven’t given up on my hero, but I did let myself give up on various things that didn’t work to find the one I think will give me the best story.

Filed Under: Writing Tagged With: Don't quit, Facebook, Happily-ever-after, Hero, heroine, Pantser, perseverance, plot, prince, Romance, stubborn, talent, tennis, War

One Month

June 30, 2017 by Elizabeth Drake

I’ve made it through one month of strength training.

Eleven sessions in four weeks. Not quite the three per week that is ideal, but not bad either. It’s a start to rebuilding the bone I lost when I had my little ones.

But now to stick with it.

See, I hate strength training. I don’t like the feel of heavy weights in my hands. I don’t enjoy the feel of a bar across my back or the burn in my legs as I squat. I just don’t.

gym1

I hear “do something you love” all the time. I get that I’m much more likely to stick with an exercise I love.

Sadly, that’s not easy either. See,  I don’t love much exercise. Reading. Yup. Writing. Mostly. You’ll notice neither of those are exactly physical activities.

I loved tennis in my youth. There was something about chasing the little fuzzy ball that kept me entertained. I’d spend hours hitting the ball against a backboard to force my backhand to improve. I even found lighted courts so I could play at night.

gym2

I learned to ignore the bats that came out to eat the bugs the lighted courts drew. I found ways to practice even in the winter. I loved the sport.

But, in my very early twenties, I learned I had a genetically bad back. The twisting motion from tennis was aggravating it, and I had to stop.

So I did.

Was years before I took up walking with my husband. We started small, but soon, we were traipsing around the neighborhood. Everyone knew us as “that couple we see walking”.

We’d literally walk for an hour or two every night after work. We’d talk about our day, hopes, wishes, dreams. Then, we started playing an RPG, and we started talking about characters.

That’s when the walks got really long.

We loved making characters. Seeing what they would do in different scenarios. It was a fabulously creative way to spend the evenings. We both dabbled with our writing, but neither of us had really taken it seriously at that point. After all, I was finishing graduate school while working full time, and after that, we were planning to start a family.

And start a family we did.

Complications in the pregnancy made us give up walking, but eventually, we had an amazing little one.

We just didn’t realize we’d never be able to have a grown-up conversation again. At least not while she was awake.

Once we were able to take walks again, talking about anything that did not directly involve her was impossible. She started talking at 11 months, and hasn’t stopped since.

little-girls-walking-773024_640

We bought and elliptical machine and treadmill and plopped them in front of a 60 inch TV. We thought we could watch a movie or catch up on a few shows while we worked out.

You already know how that went for us. DD1 was not tolerating being left upstairs while one of us went to the basement. Sure, we could’ve ignored her tears, but I get two hours with her a day. Less, if you include that part of that time I’m making dinner.

Gotta say, Sesame Street and My Little Ponies are NOT conducive to a strong workout. Even with an audio book playing, I still can’t concentrate on it with the sound and motion.

gym4

For me, working out consistently for a month is an accomplishment. May not be for most other people. But I’m not them. I’m me. I have to compare me to me. And, I’m giving myself kudos for making it a month.

If I make it another month, I’m rewarding myself with a massage. I may not like exercise, but I can like the rewards that come with it.

 

How about you? Do you love exercise? Hate it? Find it boring? How do you motivate yourself to do it, especially if it’s not one of your favorite things? Any treats you give yourself, or maybe something else?

Filed Under: Exercise, Uncategorized Tagged With: characters, children, creativitiy, gym, My Little Pony, pregnancy, Reading, rewards, RPG, Sesame Street, Something you love, squats, sticking with it, strength, Strength Training, tennis, walking, weights, Writing

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