Elizabeth Drakes's Site

Fantasy Romance

Stress

10 Ways to Conquer Stress and Bring Back Your Creativity

by

So, yes, I missed the deadline to have the first draft of A Love of His Own completed. I am still wrestling with it, along with significant work stress. Oh, and we still don’t have a kitchen.

We know stress kills creativity. And, given my current circumstances, it isn’t going anywhere.

stressed

Me during the height of budgeting

So, what can we do about it? How do we tame the stress so our muse will come hang out with us and bring some inspiration along with her?

 

Here are 10 Things “experts” Say Will Reduce Stress

1. Get enough sleep

Because it’s so easy to sleep when you’re already stressed. It’s not like stress causes insomnia or anything. Oh wait.

 

2. Eat Well-Balance meals

Already doing this, though this can also be a source of stress. It’s a lot easier to pick up something on my way home that to spend thirty minutes I don’t have trying to put together a healthy choice. In a non-existent kitchen.

 

3. Limit Alcohol and Caffeine

Gave up both when I was pregnant, and I never started back on either. Very liberating to not need that cup of coffee in the morning, though I was awful to be around for the two months it took to break the habit.

Frankly, I’m not sure if this just transfers your stress from you to your family members as they now have to deal with you without coffee…

 

4. Count to 10 (or 20 or 1,000)

This has helped me when dealing with my children, but not for the bigger things like when those children are ill. Or washing dishes in a bathtub while my youngest insists she must take her bath right now.

 

5. Take Deep Breaths

Okay… Feel like medical science might be stretching a little here.

 

6. Take a time-out.

No, not the kind you give your children.

Although maybe.

They recommend things like practicing yoga, listening to music, meditating, getting a massage, or learning relaxation techniques. According to the experts, stepping back from the problem helps clear your head. Because I totally have time for this! If I did, I might not be as stressed out…

 

7. Learn what triggers your anxiety.

What triggers mine? Not having a kitchen.

Or impossible goals like trying to balance work, children, a spouse, a household, and writing. You know, modern American life.

 

8. Maintain a positive attitude.

I think I actually flipped off the computer monitor when I read this. Mature, I know.

 

9. Get involved.

Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress. Which totally works because I’m not already stressed over not having enough time meet all my current obligations.

 

10. Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way. 

Clearly what some of these coping strategies are. For me, anyway.

 

If nothing else, I suppose it did make me smile a little. Sometimes, science can’t solve all your problems. Although a good contractor would go a long way to solving mine.

 

Something Had to Give

by

I have not been nearly as attentive on this site as I would like.

stressed

Work has been insanely busy.

My kitchen still isn’t done. Not being able to use a stove, sink or dishwasher adds a whole new level of stress, especially as we’ve been without them for over thirteen weeks. There has also been an insane amount of stress dealing with contractors. Like when they put our island in crooked, or when they put the cabinets in at the wrong height.

This all hit after a delay in Seducing the Ice Queen because of some vision issues between myself and the cover artist.

Something had to give.

First, it was presence on social media.

Then it was sleep, because I wasn’t doing that anyway with the stress.

Then it was this blog.

Then it was the writing itself.

StruggleIsReal

On a side note, I am lucky in so many other ways.

I am healthy. My family is doing well. We are all safe and together. With the California wildfires still in my thoughts, Sandyhook, and the like, I’m reminded I do have a lot to be grateful for.

And yes, I am slowly getting back into writing. My creativity has taken a beating, but I’m developing some new characters that may make an appearance in future books. Even if they don’t, the exercise of creating them is helping to bring back some of the joy and alleviate some of the stress.

As long as you all aren’t too mad at me for being a bit absent, the worst thing that may come of this is a delay in releasing Knight of Valor.

Well, if you exclude the mess that is my kitchen!

5 Things I Learned about Myself on Vacation

by

I wouldn’t say learned, exactly, but perhaps was strongly reminded of in a less than subtle way.

5 Things I Learned about Myself on Vacation

 

  1. I Like Need Things Planned

This whole going with the flow thing is for people that are not me. I need to know what we’re doing and when. I want plans solidified. Train schedules plotted out. Museum hours accounted for. Not, this doesn’t apply to my writing, but it does everything else (which is why it still stymies me as to why I can’t be a plotter).

familyvacation

 

  1. I Like (Need) Things to Be on Time

In my family, if you’re not five minutes (okay, fifteen) early, you’re late. Why yes, my ancestors are German, why do you ask? I try very hard to be on time and ready to go, which I accomplished all the time every time before we had children. Now, I feel like I have to tell everyone we need to leave thirty minutes sooner than we actually do just to have a chance at leaving on time.

And when we’re late anyway? Plans start to fall apart.

Time
What did people do before watches and cell phones?

 

  1. Crowds Make Me Edgy

I don’t like crowds. I’ve never liked crowds. Most of my life, I’ve been content to shop first thing in the morning to avoid crowds. Then, internet shopping became a thing, and I could shop whenever I liked without having to talk to a soul.

But every single thing that involves a family vacation also seems to avoid crows. Lots of them.

51acb30ac6516d3bff4e7061ecfab48d_online-shopping-funniest-memes-online_420-294

 

  1. I Am Not Pleasant When Stressed

Who is, really? And no, breathing techniques don’t work.

stressed

 

  1. Stress Causes Migraines

And these make me even more pleasant! What was the point of this vacation again?

 

Yep, Everything is Fine

by

Totally fine.

Remember that kitchen remodel I was dreading? Well, it didn’t happen. Why, you ask? Because the contractor never showed up, and he won’t return our calls or texts.

Yeah. I have an empty kitchen and a house full of materials for a remodel we now have to start over with finding a contractor to do.

Everythingisfine

Deep breath.

It means by the time they start, I won’t have a kitchen for Thanksgiving or Christmas. After waiting months for it to even start. With a torn apart kitchen in the meantime.

*Deep Breath*

I am struggling with this, especially with two small children. I’m having trouble sleeping, and my eating habits are not doing well. I’m also about to start busy season at work.

*Grabs paper bag*  *breaths deeply*

Yeah, things are going fine. Perfectly fine.

 

I Made a Mistake.

by

It’s called a kitchen remodel.

If I could go back to April and tell myself what I know now so I would avoid this additional stress. So I’d never start this project.

We hired a designer thinking that would help. And while it has, it’s still stressful. Very stressful.

First, our budget is completely blown. At this point, we are literally double what we’d planned. And construction hasn’t yet started. Yes, I did some research ahead of time. You know me. I even made a detailed list of what I thought needed doing and the cost of each. I thought I was estimating high. I was so wrong. So very wrong.

budgetblown.png

Second, they lost six of our cabinets. SIX. How do you lose six cabinets?!? It appears as if an entire pallet walked out of the warehouse. They are still searching for it. We’re considering putting up wanted ads.

Third, I was wrong about the start date. I thought we were setting it after the cabinets arrived… Which led to a frantic rush to get the rest of the materials purchased.

None of which are coming in on time.

Agggggh!

perfectlycalm

Why yes, I am a little stressed.

But I’m still writing.

5 Reasons Why Things Are Stressful and Crazy

by

I am beside myself these days, and it’s killing my creativity. Here are five stressors I am trying to control.

  1. Got My Edits Back

I am still new to working with freelance editors. I have in my mind what I think will happen, but so far, it has not been the case. I got the edits back on Seducing the Ice Queen. The editor made some good points, though I wish she would’ve also provided a path to fixing the issues she identified. Simply telling me something is broken is not the same as using experience to give me a nudge into what it would take to fix it. I could also tell she was not as experienced with the romance genre as I would have liked.

At first, the comments were crushing, and I put the novel away for a week. I’ve pondered them a bit more, thinking about some of the areas where she found issue. While I’m not going to change my purple prose, there are some things I can do to make the work better. I doubt I will use this editor again as I think finding a true romance editor would be the best way for me to learn and improve my writing.

editing
Feels like it most days.

 

2. Girls’ Rooms

They are done! I took us a while, especially the last little bits like getting black out blinds made and installed, but their rooms look terrific. Now, to keep them that way.

 

3. House Move

We had talked about moving to a larger home, then decided against it. Not only is a smaller mortgage and lower taxes a nice thing (our property taxes as a % of value of our home are some of the highest in the country), but we quickly discovered that finding a home in the school districts we wanted with trees and a bit of a yard was all but impossible. After seeing what was out there, and the price tags attached, we decided to stay in our current house.

MovingSucks
Maybe not that drastic…

 

4. Fitting Comfortably Into Our House

I know, right? Such troubles, but real enough for us. It’s amazing how much stuff you collect living in the same place for over a decade. Longest time I’ve lived in one place.

So once we decided to stay in our house, we committed to “fitting” into this house. We are going through closets, desks, dressers, the basement, etc. and attempting to do a hard purge. My question to myself and my spouse is, “Would we have paid to move it?”. If the answer is no, it goes in the Goodwill pile. We’ve been very good supporters of Goodwill these days.

 

5. Kitchen Remodel

*ducks*

Yes, you’d think the chaos of fixing up the girls’ rooms would’ve cured me, but I’ve hated out kitchen since we moved into the house. We did a partial remodel 12 years ago, and the company that did it did an awful job. So bad that tile flooring that should last 50 years is already pulling up. Yeah. Bad. That and our cabinets are vintage 1970s. They are not in great shape, and the blind corners make half of the cabinet space unusable. We’ve hired a designer who has put together a lovely plan. Now, we interview contractors… Wish me luck!!

KitchenRemodel