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Fantasy Romance

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10 Ways to Conquer Stress and Bring Back Your Creativity

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So, yes, I missed the deadline to have the first draft of A Love of His Own completed. I am still wrestling with it, along with significant work stress. Oh, and we still don’t have a kitchen.

We know stress kills creativity. And, given my current circumstances, it isn’t going anywhere.

stressed

Me during the height of budgeting

So, what can we do about it? How do we tame the stress so our muse will come hang out with us and bring some inspiration along with her?

 

Here are 10 Things “experts” Say Will Reduce Stress

1. Get enough sleep

Because it’s so easy to sleep when you’re already stressed. It’s not like stress causes insomnia or anything. Oh wait.

 

2. Eat Well-Balance meals

Already doing this, though this can also be a source of stress. It’s a lot easier to pick up something on my way home that to spend thirty minutes I don’t have trying to put together a healthy choice. In a non-existent kitchen.

 

3. Limit Alcohol and Caffeine

Gave up both when I was pregnant, and I never started back on either. Very liberating to not need that cup of coffee in the morning, though I was awful to be around for the two months it took to break the habit.

Frankly, I’m not sure if this just transfers your stress from you to your family members as they now have to deal with you without coffee…

 

4. Count to 10 (or 20 or 1,000)

This has helped me when dealing with my children, but not for the bigger things like when those children are ill. Or washing dishes in a bathtub while my youngest insists she must take her bath right now.

 

5. Take Deep Breaths

Okay… Feel like medical science might be stretching a little here.

 

6. Take a time-out.

No, not the kind you give your children.

Although maybe.

They recommend things like practicing yoga, listening to music, meditating, getting a massage, or learning relaxation techniques. According to the experts, stepping back from the problem helps clear your head. Because I totally have time for this! If I did, I might not be as stressed out…

 

7. Learn what triggers your anxiety.

What triggers mine? Not having a kitchen.

Or impossible goals like trying to balance work, children, a spouse, a household, and writing. You know, modern American life.

 

8. Maintain a positive attitude.

I think I actually flipped off the computer monitor when I read this. Mature, I know.

 

9. Get involved.

Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress. Which totally works because I’m not already stressed over not having enough time meet all my current obligations.

 

10. Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way. 

Clearly what some of these coping strategies are. For me, anyway.

 

If nothing else, I suppose it did make me smile a little. Sometimes, science can’t solve all your problems. Although a good contractor would go a long way to solving mine.

 

Progress!

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I have finished my current edit on Seducing the Ice Queen.

freedom-307791_640

*happy dance*

I am taking a short break from the story before starting my final line edit that focuses on things like comma usage, word variation, and not ending sentences with prepositions.

On day two of this break, a whole new idea smacked me. I started writing it, and after two days, I’m over 4,000 words into it and still going strong! If not for this pesky thing called a day job, I’d be much farther along.

The characters are really coming alive, and that’s the best part about writing for me.

Yes it’s a first draft, and I both love and fear this draft. I love it because anything is possible. Because as I write it, I get to know the characters. Their foibles, fallacies, and strengths. I am a pantser, so this first draft is where I learn what happens to the characters and how they get their happily-ever-after.

*squee*

However, I also fear it because I’m staring at a blank sheet. There is nothing there to rearrange, fix or correct. It’s empty, waiting for those first words that will spur the next eleven revisions. There is no wordsmithed beauty to it. It’s raw and dirty, this first draft.

And that’s okay.

I just have to get it on the page.

After the blow my writing took back in July, I am ecstatic that my muse came back to sit on my shoulder again.

Magic

I’ve missed her, and I’ve missed the joy of creating new worlds and the people in them.

10 Ways to Conquer Stress and Bring Back Your Creativity

by

We know stress kills creativity. And, given modern life, stress isn’t going anywhere.

stressed
Me during the height of budgeting

So, what can we do about it? How do we tame the stress so our muse will come hang out with us and bring some inspiration along with her?

 

Here are 10 Things “experts” Say Will Reduce Stress

1. Get enough sleep

Because it’s so easy to sleep when you’re already stressed. It’s not like stress causes insomnia or anything. Oh wait.

2. Eat Well-Balance meals

Already doing this, though this can also be a source of stress. It’s a lot easier to pick up something on my way home that to spend thirty minutes I don’t have trying to put together a healthy choice.

3. Limit Alcohol and Caffeine

Gave up both when I was pregnant, and I never started back on either. Very liberating to not need that cup of coffee in the morning, though I was awful to be around for the two months it took to break the habit.

Frankly, I’m not sure if this just transfers your stress from you to your family members as they now have to deal with you without coffee…

4. Count to 10 (or 20)

This has helped me when dealing with my children, but not for the bigger things like when those children are ill.

5. Take Deep Breaths

Okay… Feel like medical science might be stretching a little here.

6. Take a time-out.

No, not the kind you give your children.

Although maybe.

They recommend things like practicing yoga, listening to music, meditating, getting a massage, or learning relaxation techniques. According to the experts, stepping back from the problem helps clear your head. Because I totally have time for this! If I did, I might not be as stressed out…

7. Learn what triggers your anxiety.

What triggers mine? Impossible goals like trying to balance work, children, a spouse, a household, and writing. You know, modern American life.

8. Maintain a positive attitude.

I think I actually flipped off the computer monitor when I read this. Mature, I know.

9. Get involved.

Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress. Which totally works because I’m not already stressed over not having enough time meet all my current obligations.

10. Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way. 

Clearly what some of these coping strategies are. For me, anyway. Though, it’s not exactly funny as this helped me very little.

 

If nothing else, I suppose it did make me smile a little. Sometimes, science can’t solve all your problems.

 

That Moment When It Clicks

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We all have those moments when it clicks. When doing suddenly becomes infinitely easier.

Perhaps it’s the moment when you are learning to ride a bike and you finally make more than a few inches before scraping your knee.

bike.png
About how it’s going teaching my daughter.

Maybe it’s the moment when you can finally see the image a differential equation represents without needing a graphing calculator. Yeah, that moment didn’t happen for me either.

A friend of mine makes and sells jewelry, and she has repeatedly told me how she’ll be bombarded by ideas one day and then will have no ideas for weeks after. She has to quickly write down the ideas as they come because they are flashes of inspiration. If she doesn’t write them down, they’re gone.

I have my own experience with this on a regular basis. My muse comes and visits me, and together, we can produce one-thousand words in less than an hour. Good words. Stuff that will get refined, but stuff that I think will still be there in the final draft.

Then, there’s the days she doesn’t visit. Like a Saturday not long ago where I managed to squeeze in three hours of writing. I got less than a thousand words during those three hours, and I’m not sure any of them are good.

Magic

But, I did get them down. So, progress. I can edit something that exists, but I can’t edit a blank page.

Still, I understand why people get discouraged. When the muse is here, we can create in hours what would take days of toil. Yet, those days of toil are still important.

You don’t get to ride the bike without the hours of learning put in beforehand. You don’t understand the differential equations in a moment unless you’re that one kid in my second semester calc class. Okay, maybe you never understand them completely, but if you don’t do the work to get there, you’ll never have the chance understand them.

equation
Yeah, I know they’re not differential equations.

I sometimes think this is what inspiration is all about. Basically, the motivational poster that says it’s 90% perspiration and 10% inspiration, yet, I think it’s true even if I’m not much for motivational posters.

I’m trying to treat the hour my muse visits me as the reward for the previous three hours of grinding work. If I just wait for her, she won’t come. She’s waiting for me to put in the work before giving my prize. Maybe I’m right on this, or maybe its complete garbage to make me feel better, but at least it gets stuff done.

 

How about you? Do you find you have to struggle for things and then there’s a magic moment where it clicks? Do you wait for inspiration, or do you plod through? Maybe you were the kid in the back of my class that just “got” differential equations so your muse is always ready to go?

 

 

Morning Children: A Special Torment to Writers

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My husband and I are both night people. We’ve learned to adjust our internal clocks to take into account work and other grown-up responsibilities. While it’s not nearly as hard to get up at 6 am now as it was when I was a teenager, I didn’t have to get up at 6 am on Saturday when I was a teen.

Our oldest child is a morning person. Always has been, and she’s never had a concept of “weekend”. We had to get her a digital clock before she was three so that we could forbid her from leaving her bedroom in the morning before her clock said 6 on it. And yes, she learned numbers early so we weren’t getting up with the sun in the summer. Where there’s a will, there’s a way…

ac

 

While I’ve been able to adjust myself to getting up long before a night-person should, I haven’t convinced my muse to join me.

As much as I’ve sat diligently in front of my computer during afternoon nap-time on the weekends, my muse is nowhere to be found. Sure, I can pound out a few words, but it’s not the same. Whether you write, paint, compose music, there’s this creative zone that you get into that allows you to achieve more in an hour than you can in three. There’s something magical about this time. It’s like fairy wings and unicorn farts have jumped into the mortal plane.

For me, this ultra-creative time always, always, always comes after 8 pm. Usually later, but given my current need to be up with the birds, I try to be in bed before 10:30 because 6 am comes around awfully early.

There are those days when inspiration strikes, and I seize upon it, blowing through my bedtime even though I know will pay for it in the morning. And oh do I! Nothing quite like a chipper preschooler bouncing around the house rather than getting ready for school to put your previous night’s choice into perspective.

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Of course, my preschooler isn’t making the beds, eating her breakfast, or getting ready for the day. Heck no!  These are days that she requires the most wrangling. It’s like she knows I’m struggling and chooses that time to drown me rather than throw me a rope. Because children smell weakness and will exploit it at every opportunity.

I wish I had something insightful to offer. Some way that I’ve conquered the muse and brought her to my side before the owls come out. But I haven’t. I still have to make the choice most nights as to whether I’m on a roll and have to keep going, or whether I need to be a grown-up and go to bed. I’d love to say the grown-up wins most nights…

 

How about you? Are you a morning person or a night person? Does it work for you? When do you find yourself most creative? Have you figured out how to get your muse to come on your terms?

Black Friday 2016 – Not According to Plan

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It’s the day after Thanksgiving, also known as Black Friday. While many Americans are out starting their Christmas shopping, I’m not because I’m almost done.  All eight of my nieces and nephews are bought for and wrapped. My children are done, and we have them half wrapped. The family gift exchanges are purchased. We’ve bought the gifts for our extended family.

I have one gift left to get for my ninety-year-old grandmother. Yeah, she’s hard to shop for.

aab
Can’t even imagine the stress…

So, yes, I’m one of those people. I plan ahead. I like things to be organized and predictable. When you combine this  with my crazy work schedule from mid-November until the end of the year, I want my shopping done so I’m able to enjoy the holidays as much as I can. And, I like to have the best possible selection of gifts available so what I’ve planned to buy isn’t back-ordered.

I do, indeed, make an Excel spreadsheet of everyone I have to buy for what, I plan to get them, and whether it’s been purchased and wrapped yet. Making a list, checking it twice…

While Christmas shopping has followed my plans, the rest of the year hasn’t. From my daughter having some medical issues we’re still working through, to a more recent job loss and the potential loss of medical benefits, stress has been a constant companion.

My muse doesn’t much care for stress, and she takes a vacation to a tropical island at the first hint of trouble.

passion-fruit-daiquiri-906099_640
If you look closely, you can see her in the water.

 

Of course, my response is pretty predictable. I keep looking for her, trying to get her to come and play, before the realization sinks in. She’s left me, and she’s not coming back.

aac
Muse?!?  Don’t leave me!

No, she’s not terribly reliable, especially when you need her. I guess I don’t blame her. When I’m that tired and anxious, I’m not much fun to be around.

But I’ve still been writing and reading. Maybe less of both than I should.Especially reading. I can be a critical reader, and have been trying to train my brain to do a better job of dissecting why a book is good or why it isn’t.

When I’m stressed, however, my ability to handle stupid characters drops to almost zero. If the characters are too stupid to breathe, I’m done with them. I don’t care if they get their happily-ever-after. I was 30% of the way through a book last week, and I just put it aside. I didn’t need to add to my stress or frustration with fictional characters.

Despite all of this, I’ve managed to finish two novels this year, and I’m working on revising them for publication. Then comes the really awful part of querying them, but that’s still a ways away.

My work isn’t as inspired as it would be if my muse would hang around more, but I am pushing through. I need to prove to myself that this endeavor is worth the time commitment, even when things aren’t going as planned.