Family

4 Reasons Why Americans Don’t Take Vacation

June 26, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

Yes, it’s true that Americans don’t take all of their vacation days.

It’s also true that Americans tend to get far fewer vacation days than our counterparts in the rest of the industrialized world.

So, why aren’t we taking those days?

Here’s my four reasons for not wanting to take another week off of work anytime soon.

4 Reasons Why Americans Don’t Take Vacation

You have to Plan Them

At least my vacations don’t plan themselves. Sad, really, but my reality. When you add in two children and no real history of taking family vacations when I was a child to draw from, trying to figure out where to go and what to do that will interest both children without making me want to claw out my own eyes is a feat.

Then there are all the logistics that go with them. If something goes wrong spending six hours in O’Hare with two cranky children might be its own circle of hell.

2. Work Waits for No One

There’s not just the work of packing and planning, which is a pain in itself. I’m talking about getting everything ready at work. I’m a desk jockey for a living. That means no one is covering for me while I’m out. Or at least, not covering more than the very basics. So everything else must be done before I leave. This adds to the stress of going. I seriously do not know how my counterparts in our foreign offices are able to take off two or three consecutive weeks every year. Last time I got off two consecutive weeks was when I was in college.

3. You Have to Recover From Them

Laundry. Unpacking. Putting everything away. This is all some of the last things anyone wants to do when they come home from a family vacation. My family tends to be tired and grumpy. And some of us need our space and alone time that we haven’t gotten since the “vacation” started.

4. Are They Really Fun?

The jury is still out on this. I enjoyed vacations much more when my husband and I were younger. We didn’t need to plan so much, and we were able to go with the flow more. Not go with the flow, exactly, but go with it more. Kids don’t go with the flow. Ever. The amount of crying, yelling, fussing and general malaise makes me wonder why we did this. Why we spent the money and time on this.

Then I look back at the pictures of the kids smiling and laughing. No, Maybe I didn’t have fun, but they sure did. And they keep talking about the things we saw and did. So maybe that’s why. And maybe I’ll remember it being better later.

How about you? Did you take family vacations as a kid? Did you or do you take them with your own kids? Any tips or advice for someone new to this?

Short Story: A Knight’s Prayer (Part 2)

June 7, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

Continued from A Knight’s Prayer Part 1.

Based on the previous stories Adrift and The Vision.

A Knight’s Prayer

Sir Gabriel blinked then stared down at the elf wrapped in his tabard. “It’s not what you think. I didn’t-”

Leopold chuckled. “Unless you’re an elf, I know you didn’t.”

Relief loosened Sir Gabriel’s shoulders. “She couldn’t have been more than a few weeks old when I found her. I was walking along the sea as part of my rehabilitation and found her among the wreckage of a ship.”

“So you brought her back with you.” Sir Leopold bit back a smile. Sometimes the gods gave you what needed in the strangest of ways.

“I’ve been searching for her family since I found her, but I haven’t found them yet.”

“Can’t be easy taking care of a child by yourself with your duties and working on healing that leg.”

“I’ve been very fortunate. People have been willing to help. Thalia’s compassion beats strong in Tamryn.”

Sir Leopold chuckled as he watched the tall, broad-shouldered Knight gently brush a lock of hair from the little girl’s cheek. Thalia may play a part in people’s willingness to help, but he suspected the Twins had a hand in it, too.

“I brought her to Aerius at King Eli’s request.”

“King Eli?” Leopold’s brows shot up. “What does he want with a foundling elf?”

“I’m not sure, but I’m supposed to be meeting with him and Queen Auburn.”

Leopold leaned back against the pew. That meant Auburn had a vision. One strong enough and with big enough implications that Eli felt it necessary to investigate. Both interesting and terrifying. The elves were formidable but isolated.

Or they had been.

And he’d preferred it stayed that way. The fewer uncertainties the better while dealing with the eastern provinces.

“Tell me when you go meet with King Eli. I’ll come along with you. He can’t intimidate me no matter how much he tries.”

“I’m afraid he’ll tell me to send her away.” Sir Gabriel tucked his tabard around the child. “I don’t know where I’d send her. I’ve tried everything I can to find her family.”

“They may not want to be found. Elves are an odd bunch.”

“You’ve met them?”

“A few times, though none that look like this one.”

Sir Gabriel cupped her tiny hand in his. “There’s something else you should know. Her eyes aren’t human.”

“Of course they’re not. She’s an elf.”

“They seem to glow.”

“Like I said, elves are an odd bunch. Never met one that wasn’t more than twice my age, and most were a lot older than that. Maybe all of their eyes almost glow as children.”

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

Sir Leopold pushed himself to his feet. “Staying in the barracks while you’re here in Aerius?”

Sir Gabriel nodded.

“You’re not anymore. Get your horse. You’re gonna come stay with me, and I’ll introduce you to Marcus and Brelynn.”

The young Knight’s eyes widened. “But Sir Marcus-”

“Is a good man who’ll help Brelynn spoil Aurora. Might even catch Mara spoiling her when she thinks no one is looking.” Sir Leopold knelt before the altar to Dracor as Gabriel stared at him, whispered a prayer, then straightened. He nodded toward the young Knight. “Don’t make me make it an order.”

Sir Gabriel gathered up Aurora and cradled her against his chest as he pushed himself back to his feet without his cane.

Sir Leopold smiled. Boy had a long way to go, but the gods were on his side.

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Short Story: A Knight’s Prayer (Part 1)

June 5, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

Based on the previous stories Adrift and The Vision.

A Knight’s Prayer

The moon hung high in the sky when Sir Leopold pushed back from his desk. He’d had plenty to keep his days full before Sir Marcus had killed the Death Knight and blown the eastern provinces wide open. Now sleep felt like a luxury.

But the people in the eastern provinces deserved the gods’ light to shine on them, deserved to tuck their kids into bed and not worry about what would come for them in the night.

Long hours in a comfortable office seemed like little to ask in comparison. And it wasn’t like anyone was waiting for him to come home at night.

Sir Leopold chuckled. Not true. Not anymore.

Sir Marcus would silently worry Leopold was working too much again, but Brelynn would openly fuss at him. Mara would stare at him with her strange amber eyes, her thoughts as inscrutable as ever. Strange lot, but they were family. Even Mara.

Despite the late hour, Sir Leopold strolled one last time through the Temple of Dracor.

The god’s power radiated through the building, filling Sir Leopold and reigniting his faith and purpose. It burned stronger tonight, more brilliant. Sucking in a deep breath, the light filled Leopold and inspired him. Fatigue melted away under Dracor’s radiance, and Leopold again thanked the god for His favor.

Finally ready to head home and take the fussing he had coming, Sir Leopold paused outside the main sanctuary. A young Knight was kneeling before Dracor’s altar.

Sir Leopold waited, but the young Knight’s rigid back and hunched shoulders told Leopold more than words could.

The fussing would wait a bit longer.

Leopold strolled down the main aisle, and as he drew closer, he noticed the heavy cane and glimpsed the young man’s profile.

Knight Gabriel.

Another hero of the eastern provinces, and another victim.

As Sir Leopold sat on the pew behind the young man, he noticed a tiny child wrapped in the Knight’s tabard. Her pointed ears, sharp features, and golden hair warned she wasn’t human.

Not a bastard, then. Sir Leopold had seen enough of those in his time, and he’d learned how to deal with Knights who’d made that misstep.

This was different.

Sir Leopold sat beside the sleeping child and bowed his head in prayer.

Knight Gabriel startled when he finally saw the older man.

“I’m sorry, High Knight, I didn’t hear you come in. I’m normally more observant.”

“You’re in Dracor’s temple. No need for such vigilance here, and nothing to be sorry about. Your devotion is admirable.”

The young Knight of Valor tried to push himself to standing. His face twisted in pain.

Sir Leopold didn’t offer help, knowing better after years of dealing with injured Knights.

Gabriel grabbed the cane and shoved himself to his feet. Disgust twisted over the young Knight’s features before he could lock it away.

“How are you doing?” Sir Leopold asked.

“All right. The Council has assigned me to temple duties… for the moment.”

While he healed, but he didn’t want to admit weakness, not even to a fellow Knight. That was a weakness in itself, but Sir Leopold kept that himself. “Not what I meant. Eastern provinces are a horrible place. My nephew still struggles with nightmares.”

“Sir Marcus? But he’s-”

“A good man, a strong man, but still a man.”

Sir Gabriel ran his hand through his hair and sat beside Sir Leopold. “Nightmares are crushing some nights. Only place they get better is here.”

“Time can help. Talking can help more. You ever wanna talk to Sir Marcus or another Knight that went through what you did, you let me know. There’s no shame in it. Matter of fact, talking takes a great deal more courage than burying the pain.”

Sir Gabriel stared down at his cane, and Leopold could see the memories haunting the young man. Wasn’t fair or right, but nothing about the eastern provinces was. Sir Gabriel volunteered for the horrible assignment after his mother had died. He was unmarried and had no family left to grieve for him if he died.

A selfless act, even for a Knight of Valor.

Sir Leopold laid a steadying hand on the other Knight’s shoulder. “I heard your story, but I don’t know the real horror. Talk to Marcus. If not him, talk to Matthias. There’s no shame. No judgement. But they can help.”

Sir Gabriel balled his fists at his side. “They call me a hero, but I didn’t save them. I didn’t save…”

Leopold let him catch his breath. “I know you didn’t, but for the thirty or forty families you saved, you’re a hero. Thirty or forty families that would’ve died without you.”

“But-”

He squeezed Sir Gabriel’s shoulder. “You sacrificed a lot to hand Dracor a victory. And it was a victory.”

“But it was my fault. I consecrated the church. I had no idea it would bring so many ghouls.”

“And that consecrated church is a beacon of hope to that town and the surrounding lands. A place the locals go even now to escape nightmares I don’t even want to imagine. You gave them that.” Leopold nodded toward the altar. “You did what you thought was right. That’s all a man can do. Even a man in service to the gods.”

Sir Gabriel sucked in a breath as he considered Leopold’s words.

Leopold gave him a few minutes then nodded toward the sleeping child. “Who’s she?”

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Medical Issues Suck

November 10, 2017 by Elizabeth Drake

Of course medical issues suck. When was the last time someone said, “Hey, I suddenly feel better than ever! I think I need to go to the doctor and fix that!”

No, medical issues tend to only go one way, and that’s to the bad. Look, I know we’re all getting older, and this is the way things tend to work. When you’re young and healthy, you have no clue how lucky you are because that’s all you’ve known.

Then you get a little older.

Okay, maybe a lot older.

old

You reach the time in your life when not only are your friends getting sick with more than just a summer cold that a couple shots of vodka will fix. (Learned that in college. Who knew?)

It’s also the time when you start having to accept the mortality of your parents and grandparents (if you’re lucky enough to still have them).

A sinus infection sends your grandmother to the hospital because a simple course of antibiotics isn’t enough. Your parents, aunts, and uncles are still talking about the latest sports game, but now they’re suddenly also talking about cholesterol medicine, diet restrictions, and cancer scares.

Yeah, like I said, medical issues are never good.

But I will tell you this. When you do have a medical scare, it puts things into laser focus. What is important to you?

For me, I learned a few things.

My kids were the very first thing I thought about. I double checked life insurance policies to make sure they will be taken care of. I want to be there for them, to do mommy daughter things, have long talks, and watch them grow into amazing women. But if I can’t? I want to know they will not suffer financially. A lot of you are like, “Of course you thought about them first. They’re your kids!” But years ago, before we started a family, I’d never have guessed that. People change. I changed after having them, and it was more than mom jeans and baby weight. (picture of girls hand in hand)

My second thought was my husband and how hard it would be for him to have the girls alone. I was trying to think of ways to make it easier on him and failing miserably.

Then I thought about my writing and how I’d race to get all that I’m working on finished and published. That this was something I wanted to do, really wanted to do.

You know what I didn’t think about at all? My day job.

dayjob

Maybe not that strange, but definitely worth considering. Makes me wonder if it’s not fulfilling enough, challenging enough that I’d miss it, or if being a corporate cog means you really do it just for the financial security.

The challenges haven’t changed my need for that day job to support my family, but it has made me take a hard look at career advancement. Is it really something I want? Is a promotion, that means more money but more hours, really better than what I have now? I don’t have answers yet, but the questions themselves are worth asking.

How about you? Ever have a medical issue that made you really take stock of where you are and what you’re doing? Did it help realign your priorities? Maybe it made you realize your priorities were fine all along?

Going Home

April 28, 2017 by Elizabeth Drake

Well, not home. Not really.

It was my grandmother’s 90th birthday, and we drove almost seven hours to rural Ohio to celebrate with her.

It’s strange coming back to see her. And, if I’m totally honest, depressing.

Almost all of my mom’s family lives in this area, and when I was a kid, I desperately wished we lived there, too. All my aunts and uncles lived there. My cousins. My grandparents. They saw each other all the time, whereas I got to seem them a couple of times a year. I was sad and jealous.

I didn’t understand that my mother had joined the military to escape. She had a lot of very good reasons to leave, reasons that eventually included daughters of her own.

When I go back now, nothing seems like the world I wanted to join. Yes, my kids are drinking out of the same cups I used when I was a kid. My grandmother has the same rose-printed plates. Even the same wood paneling is in her house. But that’s where it ends.

When I was a kid, manufacturing was strong where she lives. Everyone had jobs, nice houses, and newer cars. We used to walk downtown for ice cream or to visit the Five and Ten.

Now, most of the store fronts are empty. Many of the beautiful old homes have been sub-divided into apartments. Others are in a sad state of repair. Piles of junk sit in yards further outside of the small town, especially old cars and boats. Paint is peeling. Front steps rotting. Out buildings collapsed.

Then there are the trailer parks. Unless you’ve seen rural poverty, you don’t know what I’m talking about. Think about a 1950s RV set-up on blocks. Old. Rusted. Windows boarded in places. Cinder blocks for steps. Now imagine twenty of them clustered together. A few miles away, another trailer “park”. Now imagine watching a little six-year-old boy with light blonde hair and a navy jacket struggling to open the rickety door as he balances on a part of the steps still intact.

Why are things so bad now?

It’s a story told all over the Midwest. Factories that once employed entire towns are gone, and there are no new manufacturing jobs to replace them. Whenever we visit, another of my cousins have been laid off and is trying to find a job. The next job they get always pay less than the one they had before.

The jobs still remaining that pay more than minimum wage all seem to be in the medical field or other services needed by the elderly and retired. Especially in-home nursing. Few out there can afford assisted living even if they are no longer completely self-sufficient.

But those jobs tend to require degrees, and the ones that don’t require degrees pay even less than the few remaining factory jobs.

Doctors in the area live in mansions situated on sprawling lands. Even nurses do well. But I learned from my cousin that being a pharmacy tech pays less than working for Whirlpool. I can understand the growing fear and resentment as they scrape together to get by while a newcomer to the area is building a heated outbuilding larger than their homes to store his three boats.

Even the skilled aren’t immune.

My uncle recently closed his business after it had been around for over fifty years. He used to sell and repair appliances like washers and dryers. He started as an apprentice when he was a teenager, and when the owner retired, he sold the business to my uncle.

My uncle did great at first. But then Lowes and Home Depot moved into the area, and he simply couldn’t compete with them on price. Eventually, he closed the Main Street shop and focused on repair.

But with how cheap appliances were becoming, more people just replaced broken ones rather than repairing them. So, he had to start letting the technicians that worked for him go. Then his secretary.

Finally, he closed his business and took a job as an electrical inspector for the county. It sucks. After more than thirty years of working for himself, he couldn’t make a living at it anymore. Thank goodness he’s a master electrician and was able to get other work.

Yeah, they’re my family and I’m biased, but these aren’t dumb people. Or lazy people. Most of them work damn hard. They simply have no way forward. They’re trying to eek out a living without giving up family, friends, and community. They’re trying to find a way forward after manufacturing was gutted from the Rust Belt.

And there is no safety net for them. No retraining for them. No real hope for things to ever improve.

College is a dream. Something rich kids do. Something they wish they could give their kids. But when most families of four earn less than $40k a year, even state school is out of reach.

Some young men and women join the military. It’s a way out, a job, and it promises to teach them real skills. Two of my cousins tried to join, but one failed the physical and the other hurt his knee to the point it required surgery two weeks before boot camp.

Still, I’m amazed how many of them have friends that joined the military, and how many of them know someone that gave their life. You see pro-veteran signs, slogans, and even graffiti everywhere. Makes me wonder if this is why.

It’s people like this that voted for our current president. They’re the ones that propelled him to victory. People who felt lost and left behind. People who want the family and community my grandfather had. Or, what they think he had. They want the jobs back. They want hope.

If you haven’t driven through rural Ohio, it’s hard to understand. If you have, you may still not agree with their choices, but you can understand them. I hope our president doesn’t disappoint them.

How about you? Does your family live near you? Or are they far away? Did you grow up with a large family and love it, or maybe you had a small family and loved that? Ever been through rural Ohio?

Shark Attack

March 31, 2017 by Elizabeth Drake

Ahh, the car ride into daycare. I’ve mentioned it before, and boy how my daughter likes to spring the big questions on me when I can’t wiggle away. It’s like she knows exactly how to make me squirm and delights in doing it.

So, we’re in the car, and she waits until I’m pulling out of the driveway.

“You’re married to daddy, right?”

“Yes,” I say. I’m thinking this is going down the path of discussing her friend whose parents are divorced. My daughter still struggles with wrapping her head around it.

“So, you’re a girl and you married a boy, right.”

“You don’t get married until you’re a grown-up, but yes.”

“Boys can marry boys, too, right?”

I pause. I’m in new waters, and the sharks are circling. I know everything I say will be twisted around and retold on the playground. “Why do you ask?”

shark1

“Bronson said so.”

“Well, Bronson’s not wrong.” For once.

“That means girls can marry girls.”

I pause again, feeling like the sharks are getting closer but still not knowing what to do or where this is going. “Yes.”

shark2

“Well, I’m going to marry a girl when I grow up.”

I pause again. “Why is that?”

“Because boys are gross. Did you know Bronson farts and doesn’t say excuse me?”

I’m thinking, yeah, that doesn’t change much with age.

“What do you think, momma?”

“That Bronson should say excuse me.”

“I mean about me marrying a girl.”

And the shark just ate the surfer. Yeah, I knew something was coming, but I didn’t know until the moment the jaws closed.

I take a deep breath. “I want you to marry someone that loves you, is good to you, and will always be there for you. If they do that, I don’t care who they are.”

“I love you, momma.”

“And I will always love you, sweetheart.”

And at that moment, I realized everything I said was true.

How about you? Anyone ever spring a hard or unexpected conversation on you? How did you respond? Do you ever feel like your children, nieces, nephews, or whomever are baiting traps for you? Ever fall in? How did you get back out?

Family

4 Reasons Why Americans Don’t Take Vacation

4 Reasons Why Americans Don’t Take Vacation