Elizabeth Drakes's Site

Fantasy Romance

dance class

Lean In?

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I have never denied how busy I am or how many more hours I would like in a day.

Spouse, children, day job, writing, family…I never feel like I have enough time for everything.

When time management books tell me to cut back on my television time…I can’t tell you the last thing I watched for me. Yes, I have watched Nailed It with the kids, and I have seen waaay more than my fair share of Octonauts. But other than that, I have not watched TV or movies for myself in ages.

KidsProgrammingShows
Only 47?!?

And now I consider whether or not I should take a more active role in my girls’ love of dance. I will never be a “dance mom”, and I will never see dance as more than an enjoyable way for them to move their bodies and get some exercise. We live in a really cold state. It’s an indoor sport. Seems like a good fit.

And they love it.

My youngest daughter was running around the house pretending to be Link from Legend of Zelda wielding her sword and shield and taking on “bad guys”.

Why, yes, she does have gamer parents. Why do you ask?

When it was time to go to her dance recital, she was singing the theme song to Dino Trucks as we got her dressed in her beautiful purple sparkly dance dress kind of like this one.

I love the variety little girls have to choose from today!

Dinotrux
Daughter’s favorite show ever.

She was so excited to be going to her dance recital, and she couldn’t wait to show us “her moves”. My little one, who is normally not a fan of the spotlight, got up on stage in front of a sold-out theater and did her best.

My oldest daughter overcame stage fright so she could dance.

Not sure I am allowed to admit this, but I am amazed how graceful and coordinated she is on stage! If you saw her off stage…

We are also blessed that we found a dance studio that truly is inclusive. The girls range in size from almost six feet tall to barely five feet. Some are thin some are not and some are very heavy. But all move together beautifully, and I love seeing the diversity on stage. I love seeing girls, of any size or shape, dancing and enjoying the freedom of movement.

Of course, now my oldest daughter wants to do “everything”.

Dance is expensive. Then, you have to drive them to class and wait for them. And she has a sister who will want to do “everything” with her.

As we’re trying to figure out transportation, which classes we can actually do, how many is “too many”, etc, I am also asking myself if I should be more involved.

Should I volunteer for things? If this is really going to be important to my daughters, how much should I get involved?

Do I want to?

Well, no.

dancemoms

Do I want to doing something with my girls that’s important to them?

Of course.

I am just not sure how all of this works. What the right path is.

It’s all new territory to me. And the parenting books forgot to mention this back when we were trying to learn all about the joys and pitfalls of children.

 

 

An Introvert’s Nightmare

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As I may or may not have said, my older daughter takes dance. My younger daughter has been begging for months to go to dance class.

balletclass
About right.

 So, I signed her up for the summer session at the same time as her sister.

 Unfortunately the time slot meant a race across town from work to pick up the girls, and a race back across town to get to the studio, get them changed into their outfits and ready on time.

 But, I figured I could do it, and it would let the younger child enjoy the class she wanted. So, I packed granola bars for the girls to eat in the car, and I packed up all of their dance stuff into their dance bag and put it in my car the night before so I wouldn’t forget.

drive
Too much truth for too many parents.

Then came the first day. I left work on time, but I went to two wrong doors before finding where my daughter is let out from her summer school program.

 Okay, so I’m running five minutes late. No big deal as I had a fifteen minute cushion.

 I got to pick up my second daughter about two minutes away. But the road construction has intensified, and traffic is backed up almost two miles from the red light. I am now starting to panic. It takes ten minutes to go a distance that should have taken no more than two. We’re now cutting it close.

 I go to pick up the my younger daughter, and my older daughter starts making a scene. Of course she does. She wants to be the center of attention, and here’s a new audience. Then the younger child starts ripping out her ponytail, a ponytail she needs for dance class, and I failed to bring a second ponytail holder if she breaks this one.

 So, amid tears, anger and frustration, I all but drag them back out to the car.

 Where the chocolate chips in the granola bars have melted from the heat. I grit my teeth, give them to the girls anyway, knowing I’ll have a mess to clean at the dance studio.

 We get in the car and head across town. We are now cutting it close. There will be less than five minutes to get the older daughter changed for her class.

 Deep breath. I can do this.

 Until I get stuck behind someone doing five under the speed limit, which results in me getting all five red lights between daycare and the dance studio red.

every-time-im-running-late-110006.jpg
You’re right. So right.

We walk in the door and a hurry the girls to the changing room. The older one is having trouble changing because we’re rushing, so I stop to help her. She’s changed and ready to go just as dance class starts.

Okay. I’m calling it a success.

Now for child two.

She has started to put on her tights as the older one got ready, but she is jamming her feet in. Tights are evil, even for adults, and wrangling a preschooler into them is torture. But we do…And then I realize she hadn’t taken off her shorts.

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Somehow, someone got them in tights AND shoes.

Gritting my teeth as people keep coming in and out of the changing room and leaving the door open, I help her take off the tights, get her shorts off, get the tights and leotard back on.

 She hates the tights and wants them off. I manage to get her tap shoes on her, and we head back out to the waiting room. Yes, all the “dance moms” are giving me snide looks, but a few more minutes and the second child will be in dance class and I can ignore them while I read my book.

 dancemoms

Dance class starts, and I try to walk her to the door, but she won’t let go of my leg. She screams and cries. As I’ve learned from preschool, I deposit her in the room and walk back to the waiting room.

 Only she doesn’t stop.

 After fifteen minutes, the dance instructor brings her back out to me. Where she proceeds to scream and cry for the entire rest of her sister’s class.

 I was so embarrassed and mortified I think I managed to turn new shades of red. Here I am, being stared at with condescension and derision, as my child screams. She even tries throwing herself to the floor a few times. I can’t escape because I can’t leave the older one there alone. I can’t go outside because it’s too hot to sit in the car and pouring down rain.

 All I can do is count down the minutes until the older child is done with class. Until I can escape.

 I have no idea what came over my daughter. No idea why she wouldn’t go play with the parachute, or do froggy jumps, or all the other fun things they were doing in class. No idea why she begged to take this class for months. And frustrated beyond words that I paid for the class, tap shoes, ballet shoes, tights and leotards for her to attend.

But mostly, I never want to show my face in that dance studio again.

Why I Can’t Wait for Self-Driving Cars

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I am very excited for self-driving cars. I know, many people are leery. I, too, have read Charles Stross and understand that they can be hacked and used as murder weapons. At this point in time, what can’t be hacked? But I digress.

electriccar
About like this, I suspect.

Even with Stross’s visions of mayhem running through my head, I hope self-driving cars get here sooner than later.

My Top Reasons for Wanting Self-Driving Cars

 

  •  Someone Else is the Kids’ Chauffeur – I know, my oldest child is only in kindergarten, and I am already tired of either me or my husband having to cart her all over the place. Dance lessons. Gymnastics. Another birthday party. I can’t believe how much of my life this consumes, and I can’t listen to audio books while she’s in the car. My hope is they can design the cars to recognize faces, let the child into the vehicle, then take them where they are going. Maybe I’m hoping too much, but a parent can dream
danceclass
It’s only cute until the 50th time you’ve sat through it.
  • Lower Cost – If we had self-driving cars, I believe it will only be a matter of time before we’re all scheduling a majority of our trips with a less-rapey version of Uber. While we may still need one car, our second car is used exclusively for my husband’s commute. We could simply schedule that with a self-driving car. One less car is a big deal to the average family when the cost of a new car is almost $34,000. Cars are the second most expensive thing we own after a house.
  • Traffic Rules – I am tired of people not choosing to stop for a stop sign, running red lights, and otherwise not obeying traffic rules. You know who you are red pickup truck that didn’t decide to yield to oncoming traffic. *glares* If we’re all in self-driving cars, this goes away.

 

stopsign
Not sure how much more obvious we can make the sign.

 

  • More Free Time – While my commute is usually less than fifteen minutes each way, my husband has a much longer commute as do a lot of people I know. So while it might not buy me time back a lot of time, it will get my husband more time.
  • No More Distracted Drivers – Drivers can now text or whatever the heck they’re doing on their phones that caused them to be not paying attention to traffic and forcing me to honk at them when they run a stop sign.

I know there are a lot of safety hurdles to self-driving cars, but I’m really looking forward to them. I am hoping the benefits outweigh the costs.

How about you? Like the idea of self-driving cars? Hate it? Why?

Practice, Practice, Practice

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My daughter was recently in a dance recital.

She had begged to get to take a dance class, and knowing how much work she needs on her gross motor skills and coordination, we agreed to let her attend.

There is a huge recital at the end of the year that parents are required to attend. A four hour recital, but I digress…

dance1

After watching her dress rehearsal, and that of the group before and after her, she came back out from back stage and proclaimed that she was the best the dancer out there. I smiled. It’s not uncommon for children her age to be quite full of themselves.

When I didn’t agree, she asked me directly if she was the best.

I told her “no”.

Harsh, maybe, but I then explained that while she’d done a good job of going to class and listening to the teacher, she hadn’t practiced outside of the class. Her friend, who happens to be a year older, had gone home and practiced every night. It showed.

I told her if she wanted to be really good, she’d have to practice more than once a week.

She was not happy with me. She argued that she didn’t have a partner to practice with at home.

I agreed with her, but told her she could still practice her parts. She could always use a stuffed animal as a stand-in for her partner, like her friend had.

My daughter was still skeptical, but as we talked some more, she decided that maybe next year she would practice more. Which means she wants a second year of dance…

practice1

I know this sounds harsh, and this next bit may sound like a deluded parent, but DD1 is very bright. A lot of things have come very easily to her because of it. She’s not yet in kindergarten, but she’s reading at a 2nd-3rd grade level. Why? Because she wanted to read, was determined to read, and had taught herself to read by the time she started 4K. She was one of two children that could read at the end of her 4K year.

We encourage her love of reading, of course, but she’s the one that practiced and practiced. That pushed herself, especially when she saw some of the cool books out there that she wanted to read without help. She’s starting to eye up early chapter books as she saw a few of those that were My Little Pony.

TwilightSparkle
This one, to be exact. Which, of course, features Twilight Sparkle.

Her math skills have also came easily to her so far.

We practice a system of rewards for good behavior. She had six behavior points and knew she needed fifteen to get the treat she wanted. She was able to devise that she needed nine more behavior points to get the reward without any help from me.

Also, if you send her to her room and tell her to count to one-hundred before coming out, you must specify she must count by ones. Otherwise, she’ll count by fives or tens to get out faster.

So, yes, I’m glad she’s got drive and some natural gifts in these areas. I’m also not upset that she isn’t naturally gifted at dance. I’m glad she still loves dance and wants to be good at it. I want her to have to work for it, to have to practice for it.

I want her to see she won’t always be the best at something just by showing up. But I want her to have fun along the way.

She’s my Type A child. She’ll push herself hard, and I want her to learn that it’s okay to not always be the best. That it’s even okay to fail as long as she tried her best.

I bit of wisdom in there I should perhaps practice as well as preach…

 

How about you? Ever had something come easy? Something come hard that you really had to work for? Did the extra practice make you the best? Were you proud of your accomplishments even if you weren’t the best?