Truth from a Child

There are a lot of sayings about truth coming from children. After having two children of my own, I find most of these to be garbage.

Toddlers lie.

Preschoolers lie more.

truth
True story.

The concept of truth and why it’s important is something children must be taught. But every once in a while, my preschooler surprises me with an insight that shows how cultural some things are.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I broke my ankle over a year ago. It still isn’t back to the way it was before I fell. I also broke my foot as a kid and have low back issues. I know, lovely, right?

The back issues are hereditary, and I was seeing a specialist for it in my twenties when it first surfaced. First thing he told me was I needed to give up all high-heeled shoes. Even block heels couldn’t be more than two inches. I should also consider comfort brands (read old-lady shoes) as the extra cushioning would reduce my daily pain and the number of flare-ups I was experiencing.

At the end of the appointment, he told me if we didn’t get things under control, I could be looking at spinal fusion before I was thirty.

Okay, so, old lady shoes didn’t look so bad.

oldlady
Maybe they did, but back surgery still wasn’t something I wanted.

It was extremely hard to find stylish shoes that fit my new criteria, and I ended up settling for far fewer shoes as those old-lady ones cost a great deal more than what I had been spending.

As I’ve aged, I’ve found more and more stylish shoes that fit his criteria and more brands entering this market. Or, I’ve become an old lady and they’re just my style now.

Whatever the case, I was perusing the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale and selecting some new shoes to try. I love this sale as it’s the only time some of my favorite comfort brands are on sale and my size is still in stock.

DD1 climbs on my lap as I finish checking out, and I ask her if she wants to look at some of the shoes in her size. She is getting to the age where she wants more of a say in what’s in her closet, so she readily agrees.

Kids shoes at Nordstrom’s? Really?

Because of my back issues and a family history of bad feet, I tend to spend more on the girls’ shoes and go for brands like Stride Rite and Tsukihoshi  Yeah, I spend more, but I hope it will either prevent or reduce issues for them in the future.

Most people have heard of stride Rite, but if you haven’t heard of Tsukihoshi, give them a try. I was astounded how light the shoes are and yet how cushioned. They are amazing! DD2 can’t wear them as they aren’t wide enough for her foot braces (yeah, feet problems in the family, remember), but DD1 loves them.

Anyway, DD1 and I start looking at the shoes, and DD1 picks a pair with a beautiful flower embroidered on them. I explain to her that the brand she picked is known for cute but uncomfortable shoes. She probably wouldn’t wear them more than once if I got them for her, so we should keep looking.

DD1 looks at me like I’m from Mars and asks, “Why would they make uncomfortable shoes? Who’d wear them?”

envy2

Who indeed.

Which goes to show that uncomfortable shoes for women are a social construct, one that must be learned. I’m going to try my hardest to make sure this is something neither of my girls learn.

 

How about you? A child ever give you a truth that reframed your perceptions? Or perhaps you have children that are always truth-tellers? If not, any tips on helping them with learning to tell the truth?

 

 

Shark Attack

Ahh, the car ride into daycare.  I’ve mentioned it before, and boy how my daughter likes to spring the big questions on me when I can’t wiggle away. It’s like she knows exactly how to make me squirm and delights in doing it.

So, we’re in the car, and she waits until I’m pulling out of the driveway.

“You’re married to daddy, right?”

“Yes,” I say. I’m thinking this is going down the path of discussing her friend whose parents are divorced. My daughter still struggles with wrapping her head around it.

“So, you’re a girl and you married a boy, right.”

“You don’t get married until you’re a grown-up, but yes.”

“Boys can marry boys, too, right?”

I pause. I’m in new waters, and the sharks are circling. I know everything I say will be twisted around and retold on the playground. “Why do you ask?”

shark1

“Bronson said so.”

“Well, Bronson’s not wrong.” For once.

“That means girls can marry girls.”

I pause again, feeling like the sharks are getting closer but still not knowing what to do or where this is going. “Yes.”

shark2

“Well, I’m going to marry a girl when I grow up.”

I pause again. “Why is that?”

“Because boys are gross. Did you know Bronson farts and doesn’t say excuse me?”

I’m thinking, yeah, that doesn’t change much with age.

“What do you think, momma?”

“That Bronson should say excuse me.”

“I mean about me marrying a girl.”

And the shark just ate the surfer. Yeah, I knew something was coming, but I didn’t know until the moment the jaws closed.

I take a deep breath. “I want you to marry someone that loves you, is good to you, and will always be there for you. If they do that, I don’t care who they are.”

“I love you, momma.”

“And I will always love you, sweetheart.”

And at that moment, I realized everything I said was true.

 

How about you? Anyone ever spring a hard or unexpected conversation on you? How did you respond? Do you ever feel like your children, nieces, nephews, or whomever are baiting traps for you? Ever fall in? How did you get back out?