time

The Constancy of Change

January 24, 2019 by Elizabeth Drake

On my way into work on a blustery cold morning without a spec of sunlight yet pinking the horizon, I succumbed to a bit of wistfulness as I drove past houses that didn’t yet have their lights on.

Back in 2011, that would’ve been me.

My husband and I both shower at night because of my allergies, so we could get up at 7:15 am, enjoy a cup of coffee and our breakfast smoothie while we watched the birds and squirrels in our backyard. We even bought bird feeders and heated bird baths to bring more creatures to our yard.

We then left for work at 7:50 am, each of us making it to work with plenty of time to spare. No rush. No frantic frenzy.

I didn’t bother packing a lunch because I lived close to work and came home every day. My husband made his lunch in less than five minutes.

At night, we made supper in a leisurely fashion, ate in front of the TV, and gamed or read books for the rest of the evening. We considered 11 pm a reasonable bedtime, though 11:30 or midnight was not uncommon. Weekends saw us indulging in our night owl preferences, and we’d regularly go to bed at 2 am then sleep until 10 am.

owl-3184032_640 — We used to know great-horned owls were nesting in our backyard because we listened to them on weekends.

I start work now before I was even awake back in 2011. My husband and I get up at 5:15 am because there are four lunches to pack. We have to make sure the kids are dressed, their hair combed, and they eat breakfast. Backpacks to remember and the car to load.

I then head to work while my husband finishes up the morning routine, wrangles the kids into the car, and drives them to school.

While I start work earlier than I ever have, I don’t get home much earlier as I have pick-up duty. As hard as the kids are to get into the car and off to school, they are equally hard to gather up and bring home.

Then comes the emptying of lunches, going through paperwork from school, and making dinner while I fuss at the oldest to do her homework.

Why does a 1^st grader even have homework?!?

Our house is anything but quiet ever. Once we could hear owls hoot. Now, we’d be lucky to hear a locomotive driving down our street.

There are also a lot more hugs, a lot more cuddles, and a lot more love.

Things may be hectic and messy, and I will never fit in with the dance moms, but the noise and chaos are part of this phase of our life. A part of having young children. And while I will never like mornings, I do love the grin on my daughter’s face as she runs out to hug me when she wakes up.

So many changes.

Makes me wonder what life will look like in 2025.

I’m guessing more changes.

10 Ways to Conquer Stress and Bring Back Your Creativity

December 13, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

So, yes, I missed the deadline to have the first draft of A Love of His Own completed. I am still wrestling with it, along with significant work stress. Oh, and we still don’t have a kitchen.

We know stress kills creativity. And, given my current circumstances, it isn’t going anywhere.

Me during the height of budgeting

So, what can we do about it? How do we tame the stress so our muse will come hang out with us and bring some inspiration along with her?

Here are 10 Things “experts” Say Will Reduce Stress

1. Get enough sleep

Because it’s so easy to sleep when you’re already stressed. It’s not like stress causes insomnia or anything. Oh wait.

2. Eat Well-Balance meals

Already doing this, though this can also be a source of stress. It’s a lot easier to pick up something on my way home that to spend thirty minutes I don’t have trying to put together a healthy choice. In a non-existent kitchen.

3. Limit Alcohol and Caffeine

Gave up both when I was pregnant, and I never started back on either. Very liberating to not need that cup of coffee in the morning, though I was awful to be around for the two months it took to break the habit.

Frankly, I’m not sure if this just transfers your stress from you to your family members as they now have to deal with you without coffee…

4. Count to 10 (or 20 or 1,000)

This has helped me when dealing with my children, but not for the bigger things like when those children are ill. Or washing dishes in a bathtub while my youngest insists she must take her bath right now.

5. Take Deep Breaths

Okay… Feel like medical science might be stretching a little here.

6. Take a time-out.

No, not the kind you give your children.

Although maybe.

They recommend things like practicing yoga, listening to music, meditating, getting a massage, or learning relaxation techniques. According to the experts, stepping back from the problem helps clear your head. Because I totally have time for this! If I did, I might not be as stressed out…

7. Learn what triggers your anxiety.

What triggers mine? Not having a kitchen.

Or impossible goals like trying to balance work, children, a spouse, a household, and writing. You know, modern American life.

8. Maintain a positive attitude.

I think I actually flipped off the computer monitor when I read this. Mature, I know.

9. Get involved.

Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress. Which totally works because I’m not already stressed over not having enough time meet all my current obligations.

10. Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way.

Clearly what some of these coping strategies are. For me, anyway.

If nothing else, I suppose it did make me smile a little. Sometimes, science can’t solve all your problems. Although a good contractor would go a long way to solving mine.

Writing Process: Writer’s Block

November 15, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

Writer’s block sucks.

I’ve been suffering from it for well over a week. While many are participating in NaNoWriMo (yes, auto correct, that’s the word I want), I’ve been trying to plod along at my 1,000 words a day. This will result in a first draft completed by the end of November.

As is my usual M.O., I was ahead on my word count. I hate waiting until the last minute for deadlines, and it’s no different with my writing.

Then came family birthdays. Halloween. My never-ending kitchen which probably won’t be done by Christmas.

That is before you take into consideration this is the busiest time of year at work. I’m going in early and working through lunch, and I still have to bring things home at night.

I am literally writing this post as I wait outside my daughter’s dance class.

So, yeah, time is tight.

But it’s more than that.

Normally the characters are dancing in my brain. Invading my commute. Singing to me in the shower.

They’ve gone silent.

Maybe because I wasn’t listening to them. Who wants to shout at a wall?

Or maybe there is something wrong with the story. Maybe I backed my characters into a corner and I’m playing Barbies with them rather than writing a coherent novel.

Or perhaps it’s this pesky plotting business, and my characters just don’t want to do what’s supposed to happen next. Always ~~possible~~ probable.

It’s possible figuring out the underlying cause of my writer’s block will help me beat it, but it ~~might not~~ won’t.

I need to work through it. Close my eyes, give up my pre-conceived ideas of what was going to happen next, and let the characters talk to me. Let them lead me on their journey.

Looks like I’m a pantser no matter how hard I try to be otherwise.

5 Things I Learned about Myself on Vacation

September 13, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

I wouldn’t say learned, exactly, but perhaps was strongly reminded of in a less than subtle way.

5 Things I Learned about Myself on Vacation

I Like Need Things Planned

This whole going with the flow thing is for people that are not me. I need to know what we’re doing and when. I want plans solidified. Train schedules plotted out. Museum hours accounted for. Not, this doesn’t apply to my writing, but it does everything else (which is why it still stymies me as to why I can’t be a plotter).

I Like (Need) Things to Be on Time

In my family, if you’re not five minutes (okay, fifteen) early, you’re late. Why yes, my ancestors are German, why do you ask? I try very hard to be on time and ready to go, which I accomplished all the time every time before we had children. Now, I feel like I have to tell everyone we need to leave thirty minutes sooner than we actually do just to have a chance at leaving on time.

And when we’re late anyway? Plans start to fall apart.

Crowds Make Me Edgy

I don’t like crowds. I’ve never liked crowds. Most of my life, I’ve been content to shop first thing in the morning to avoid crowds. Then, internet shopping became a thing, and I could shop whenever I liked without having to talk to a soul.

But every single thing that involves a family vacation also seems to avoid crows. Lots of them.

I Am Not Pleasant When Stressed

Who is, really? And no, breathing techniques don’t work.

Stress Causes Migraines

And these make me even more pleasant! What was the point of this vacation again?

Update: Creative Endeavors

May 22, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

While I may have posted a bit about our home remodeling adventure, I am still working very hard on my creative projects.

I first saw white doves instead of smoke. Not sure what it says about me.

I’m on track to have the romance novel about Daniella and Callen ready by this fall. Yes, the same Daniella from To Love a Prince. She needs her own happily-ever-after.

I finished my fourth round of revisions on this story and sent it to my editor and beta reader earlier this month. This is my first time using this editor, but I got her name from a blogger friend, so I am hopeful. My beta reader is amazing, and she’s done a better job than paid editors I’ve used.

I am both excited and nervous to hear back from them. It’s always hard to let your baby go. Yes, it’s not perfect. Yes, their honest critique will make it better. It’s still hard to hear, even if it’s needed changes.

While I’m waiting for their edits to come back, the short story I wrote about Sir Gabriel didn’t shake him out of my head. Rather, it wove him deeper into my thoughts. So, rather than work on the novel I’d been planning, he’s getting his own story. I’m 100 pages into it already, so it’s going to be a full length novel rather than a novella.

I’ve started to think of stories for Eli and Auburn’s children, but I’ve put those plot bunnies in a pen for now.

plotbunny — The creative joy of the plot bunny.

I think I will save them for a future series called the Sleeping Dragon or the Dragon Wakes.

I still have several more story ideas for future novels in the Knights of Valor series, and I’ve had more ideas for the the series I started that involves dragon brothers and their riders.

Ideas aren’t my issue, but time sure is! The day job is quieting down as we head into the summer months, so hopefully I will have more mental bandwidth for writing and editing.

My goal is to release one more book this year and three next year.

Yes, I put that in writing. Hold me to it!

5 Reasons I’m Ignoring Stephen King’s Advice

May 17, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

Most writer’s have heard Stephen King’s famous writing advice.

stephenkingwriting

I’ve read Stephen King’s book On Writing. It’s an interest read, though I confess, I haven’t reread it since 2008.

5 Reasons I’m Ignoring Stephen King’s Advice

1. Consuming is Easier than Creating

It’s not easy to admit, but I can be lazy. Reading is easy. Writing, at least for me, is work. Hard work. If allow myself to be lured in by this, I will spend all of my time reading.

2. Time Is Scarce Commodity

I’m not saying I don’t read. I read a lot. But I don’t read nearly as much as he recommends. By the time he wrote On Writing, he’d been a full time author longer than I’d been alive. It’s a lot easier to say you don’t have the time to write if you don’t have the time to read voraciously when writing is your day job.

bedtime2 — This might give me more time as I would never be able to sleep again.

3. I Lose My “Voice”

Voice is an author’s unique way of writing. It changes over time, grows, matures, but it still is what makes their work unique.

But when I read a lot of another author, I see their voice bleeding into my work. May not be a big deal if I’m reading someone like Tessa Dare who I’d love to emulate, but…

4. My Favorite Genre Can Be “Spotty”

I love fantasy romance, but there are a lot of newer authors in the genre. That can be both fabulous and awful. I can find some really great stuff out there, and then some not so great stuff. One book I got 25% of the way through and finally gave up because errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling kept yanking me out of an already mediocre story.

5. Learn by Doing

As great as reading is, and as much as I love it (I will NOT admit how many times I’ve gone to bed late because I was reading), reading only gets me part way there. I also need to apply bottom to chair and write. I’d rather have the brain surgeon that’s performed 3,000 successful surgeries as my doctor than the one that has read about it 5,000 times. It’s a skill, and for me, sometimes the only way to learn it is to do it.

learntowalk

I’ll keep reading my couple of books a month and make time to write.

How about you? Ever ignore expert advice? Why or why not?

time

The Constancy of Change

10 Ways to Conquer Stress and Bring Back Your Creativity