time

Lean In?

June 27, 2019 by Elizabeth Drake 3 Comments

I have never denied how busy I am or how many more hours I would like in a day.

Spouse, children, day job, writing, family…I never feel like I have enough time for everything.

When time management books tell me to cut back on my television time…I can’t tell you the last thing I watched for me. Yes, I have watched Nailed It with the kids, and I have seen waaay more than my fair share of Octonauts. But other than that, I have not watched TV or movies for myself in ages.

And now I consider whether or not I should take a more active role in my girls’ love of dance. I will never be a “dance mom”, and I will never see dance as more than an enjoyable way for them to move their bodies and get some exercise. We live in a really cold state. It’s an indoor sport. Seems like a good fit.

And they love it.

My youngest daughter was running around the house pretending to be Link from Legend of Zelda wielding her sword and shield and taking on “bad guys”.

Why, yes, she does have gamer parents. Why do you ask?

When it was time to go to her dance recital, she was singing the theme song to Dino Trucks as we got her dressed in her beautiful purple sparkly dance dress kind of like this one.

I love the variety little girls have to choose from today!

Dinotrux — Daughter’s favorite show ever.

She was so excited to be going to her dance recital, and she couldn’t wait to show us “her moves”. My little one, who is normally not a fan of the spotlight, got up on stage in front of a sold-out theater and did her best.

My oldest daughter overcame stage fright so she could dance.

Not sure I am allowed to admit this, but I am amazed how graceful and coordinated she is on stage! If you saw her off stage…

We are also blessed that we found a dance studio that truly is inclusive. The girls range in size from almost six feet tall to barely five feet. Some are thin some are not and some are very heavy. But all move together beautifully, and I love seeing the diversity on stage. I love seeing girls, of any size or shape, dancing and enjoying the freedom of movement.

Of course, now my oldest daughter wants to do “everything”.

Dance is expensive. Then, you have to drive them to class and wait for them. And she has a sister who will want to do “everything” with her.

As we’re trying to figure out transportation, which classes we can actually do, how many is “too many”, etc, I am also asking myself if I should be more involved.

Should I volunteer for things? If this is really going to be important to my daughters, how much should I get involved?

Do I want to?

Well, no.

Do I want to doing something with my girls that’s important to them?

Of course.

I am just not sure how all of this works. What the right path is.

It’s all new territory to me. And the parenting books forgot to mention this back when we were trying to learn all about the joys and pitfalls of children.

Maybe I Can’t

June 20, 2019 by Elizabeth Drake Leave a Comment

No, this is not a de-motivational poster.

I discuss time management a lot, and I realized something important.

I just can’t “do it all”. No matter what society tells me. No matter what society expects of me.

Sure Sheryl Sandberg wants us to “Lean In”, but I can almost guarantee she has never had to figure out how to pick up her child from dance class, get laundry done, and make sure dinner is on the table.

I guess this really hit home as I was looking at the list of writing projects I want to achieve, what I have achieved this year, and even where I have failed.

CelebrateSuccess — Except a writer is never done.

Successes

I will publish Knight of Valor this year.
I will publish A Knight’s Redemption within 6 months of Knight of Valor
I finished Leikar and Annabelle’s first draft
I will finish Rohan and Makayla’s first draft
I completed a third revision of A Knight’s Second Chance
I will complete a fourth revision of A Knight’s Second Chance

There will still be a few months left in the year for me to complete my other goals of:

Writing a third first draft novel
The really hard first-second draft revision of Rita (name may change) and Logan

Misses

Deadlines. They seem to go whooshing by.

Areas to Focus on

Accepting that creative endeavors are not the same as corporate finance. I am understanding a little better why we’re still waiting for Winds of Winter.
Accepting that I might have had unrealistic expectations for myself. Because that never happens…

All in, I am happy with the way the first half of this year went, but writing down goals put a little more stress on me than I was anticipating. Still, I think it has really helped me to focus and shown me how much I do accomplish.

Writing: What I’m Working On

June 13, 2019 by Elizabeth Drake

You hear me bemoan my lack of time quite often, but I thought I’d let you know why I want more time and what I’ve been working on the last four years.

time-1528627_640 — Time is such a balancing act

I took the keyboard back up in 2015. There are two novels I wrote that first year that will never see the light beyond my hard drive.

Other than those two, I have:

Published:

Deep Into Editing – Hoping for a 2019 Release

Knight of Valor
A Knight’s Redemption

Sent to My Beta Reader

Pirate Captain’s Daughter

**First Drafts in Need of the Hard First-to-Second-Draft Edits**

(These don’t have title’s yet. I think of most of my books by the names of the hero and heroine, sometimes even after they have a title)

Rita and Logan – Rita may get a new name before this is launched
Gabriel and Chelsea – introduces elves!
Leikar and Annabelle – yes, the same Annabelle as from Seducing the Ice Queen
Alexander and Rebecca – yes, the same Alexander mentioned in Knight of Valor
Alor and Evie – Set in the same world but well beyond Tamryn. Alor is actually from a dragon clan that survived the purge.

firstdraft — The editing may even be worse than this.

Future Stories

I have story ideas galore, but ideas in the world of writing are only slightly more valuable that pebbles on a beach.

But, I do have an idea for one of Rebecca’s brothers from Alexander and Rebecca. Her other brother could also use a story.

Alor has four brothers, all who need stories.

I am currently pondering the people in two small kingdoms that are part of the eastern provinces. There’s at least three stories there – one for the crowned prince and each of his two younger siblings. Possibly stories for those from the rival kingdom as well.

I’ve heard people would like to see Sir Leopold get his happily-ever-after as well as High-Knight Freya.

And one of my beta readers wanted to know if I would at least write a novella to get Marcella and Pike together from A Knight’s Redemption.

This is before we consider the handful of other stories I have planned involving a death knight, a kingdom plagued by insanity, and the elves.

Yes, there will be elves!

So yes, I need more time.

Now, where to find it…

The Constancy of Change

January 24, 2019 by Elizabeth Drake

On my way into work on a blustery cold morning without a spec of sunlight yet pinking the horizon, I succumbed to a bit of wistfulness as I drove past houses that didn’t yet have their lights on.

Back in 2011, that would’ve been me.

My husband and I both shower at night because of my allergies, so we could get up at 7:15 am, enjoy a cup of coffee and our breakfast smoothie while we watched the birds and squirrels in our backyard. We even bought bird feeders and heated bird baths to bring more creatures to our yard.

We then left for work at 7:50 am, each of us making it to work with plenty of time to spare. No rush. No frantic frenzy.

I didn’t bother packing a lunch because I lived close to work and came home every day. My husband made his lunch in less than five minutes.

At night, we made supper in a leisurely fashion, ate in front of the TV, and gamed or read books for the rest of the evening. We considered 11 pm a reasonable bedtime, though 11:30 or midnight was not uncommon. Weekends saw us indulging in our night owl preferences, and we’d regularly go to bed at 2 am then sleep until 10 am.

owl-3184032_640 — We used to know great-horned owls were nesting in our backyard because we listened to them on weekends.

I start work now before I was even awake back in 2011. My husband and I get up at 5:15 am because there are four lunches to pack. We have to make sure the kids are dressed, their hair combed, and they eat breakfast. Backpacks to remember and the car to load.

I then head to work while my husband finishes up the morning routine, wrangles the kids into the car, and drives them to school.

While I start work earlier than I ever have, I don’t get home much earlier as I have pick-up duty. As hard as the kids are to get into the car and off to school, they are equally hard to gather up and bring home.

Then comes the emptying of lunches, going through paperwork from school, and making dinner while I fuss at the oldest to do her homework.

Why does a 1^st grader even have homework?!?

Our house is anything but quiet ever. Once we could hear owls hoot. Now, we’d be lucky to hear a locomotive driving down our street.

There are also a lot more hugs, a lot more cuddles, and a lot more love.

Things may be hectic and messy, and I will never fit in with the dance moms, but the noise and chaos are part of this phase of our life. A part of having young children. And while I will never like mornings, I do love the grin on my daughter’s face as she runs out to hug me when she wakes up.

So many changes.

Makes me wonder what life will look like in 2025.

I’m guessing more changes.

10 Ways to Conquer Stress and Bring Back Your Creativity

December 13, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

So, yes, I missed the deadline to have the first draft of A Love of His Own completed. I am still wrestling with it, along with significant work stress. Oh, and we still don’t have a kitchen.

We know stress kills creativity. And, given my current circumstances, it isn’t going anywhere.

Me during the height of budgeting

So, what can we do about it? How do we tame the stress so our muse will come hang out with us and bring some inspiration along with her?

Here are 10 Things “experts” Say Will Reduce Stress

1. Get enough sleep

Because it’s so easy to sleep when you’re already stressed. It’s not like stress causes insomnia or anything. Oh wait.

2. Eat Well-Balance meals

Already doing this, though this can also be a source of stress. It’s a lot easier to pick up something on my way home that to spend thirty minutes I don’t have trying to put together a healthy choice. In a non-existent kitchen.

3. Limit Alcohol and Caffeine

Gave up both when I was pregnant, and I never started back on either. Very liberating to not need that cup of coffee in the morning, though I was awful to be around for the two months it took to break the habit.

Frankly, I’m not sure if this just transfers your stress from you to your family members as they now have to deal with you without coffee…

4. Count to 10 (or 20 or 1,000)

This has helped me when dealing with my children, but not for the bigger things like when those children are ill. Or washing dishes in a bathtub while my youngest insists she must take her bath right now.

5. Take Deep Breaths

Okay… Feel like medical science might be stretching a little here.

6. Take a time-out.

No, not the kind you give your children.

Although maybe.

They recommend things like practicing yoga, listening to music, meditating, getting a massage, or learning relaxation techniques. According to the experts, stepping back from the problem helps clear your head. Because I totally have time for this! If I did, I might not be as stressed out…

7. Learn what triggers your anxiety.

What triggers mine? Not having a kitchen.

Or impossible goals like trying to balance work, children, a spouse, a household, and writing. You know, modern American life.

8. Maintain a positive attitude.

I think I actually flipped off the computer monitor when I read this. Mature, I know.

9. Get involved.

Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress. Which totally works because I’m not already stressed over not having enough time meet all my current obligations.

10. Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way.

Clearly what some of these coping strategies are. For me, anyway.

If nothing else, I suppose it did make me smile a little. Sometimes, science can’t solve all your problems. Although a good contractor would go a long way to solving mine.

Writing Process: Writer’s Block

November 15, 2018 by Elizabeth Drake

Writer’s block sucks.

I’ve been suffering from it for well over a week. While many are participating in NaNoWriMo (yes, auto correct, that’s the word I want), I’ve been trying to plod along at my 1,000 words a day. This will result in a first draft completed by the end of November.

As is my usual M.O., I was ahead on my word count. I hate waiting until the last minute for deadlines, and it’s no different with my writing.

Then came family birthdays. Halloween. My never-ending kitchen which probably won’t be done by Christmas.

That is before you take into consideration this is the busiest time of year at work. I’m going in early and working through lunch, and I still have to bring things home at night.

I am literally writing this post as I wait outside my daughter’s dance class.

So, yeah, time is tight.

But it’s more than that.

Normally the characters are dancing in my brain. Invading my commute. Singing to me in the shower.

They’ve gone silent.

Maybe because I wasn’t listening to them. Who wants to shout at a wall?

Or maybe there is something wrong with the story. Maybe I backed my characters into a corner and I’m playing Barbies with them rather than writing a coherent novel.

Or perhaps it’s this pesky plotting business, and my characters just don’t want to do what’s supposed to happen next. Always ~~possible~~ probable.

It’s possible figuring out the underlying cause of my writer’s block will help me beat it, but it ~~might not~~ won’t.

I need to work through it. Close my eyes, give up my pre-conceived ideas of what was going to happen next, and let the characters talk to me. Let them lead me on their journey.

Looks like I’m a pantser no matter how hard I try to be otherwise.