Suburban Horror (Off-Topic)

As I was folding clothes, my oldest child points out the patio window.

“Momma, what’s that?”

Understand that this is the child that will point out sticks, ants, leaves, flowers, whatever to get me to stop what I’m doing. Once she has my attention, she’ll use it as a segue into me not doing whatever chore I need to get done and playing with her.

Crafty kid.

And it works.

So well, in fact, that I have three weeks worth of laundry to get through and a desperate need to get it done as my sock drawer is awfully low.

But I go over anyway, and I have to swallow back the nausea.  There, on my back patio, are squirrel bits. Some paws (yes, paws *shudder*), a couple tufts of fur . . . I couldn’t look any more as I was reminded of this garish scene in an early Laurie Hamilton book.

“So mommy, what it is?” asks my daughter, her nose pressed against the glass.

And like any good parent, I lie. “Looks like some bird was cleaning out their nest. Kind of like you need to clean your room. Oh, and take your pants I folded with you.”

After a bit more dialogue, she concedes and goes to put her pants away while I scurry off to get DH.

DH agrees. Yup. Squirrel paws. And … other… bits. He thinks it’s related to the hawk nest we saw in our backyard.

I live in suburbia. Not the city, okay, but not the country. I should not have squirrel . . . parts . . . on my back patio. And no, it doesn’t matter that I kill characters in my stories from time to time. Sometimes violently.

That’s different. Totally.


He just looks innocent.


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4 thoughts on “Suburban Horror (Off-Topic)

  1. Are you sure you don’t have a cat who would like to be friendly? Hawks are pretty awesome, and …life lesson-ey. Maybe not one you want to have in the middle of laundry.
    (I totally agree about not wanting squirrel parts showing up on the parch.)

  2. It was so gross. Maybe a good life lesson or maybe tears, not sure which with my little one. But then that’s all she would want to talk about for the next week!

  3. I love hawks but I got so angry at one one time I almost ran after it with a bb gun. It was making a meal out of my sweet little bantam hen in the barnyard. Once I calmed down and remembered that 1. shooting a hawk is illegal, 2. circle of life and all that, and 3. I suck at shooting bb guns, I realized that seeing a hawk hunt and feed was a first for me and kind of appreciated it. I wouldn’t appreciate leftover parts on my porch, though.

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