Doubts

I didn’t get much done on that long car ride, but the trip itself threw me out of my comfort zone and made me start to think.

And to doubt.

I have no idea if my writing is all that good. Or if it is necessary. Or even important. And it takes a lot of time. A lot of time I could spend on other things.

I could spend that time exercising (which I have struggled with since breaking my ankle at Thanksgiving), or reading, or playing video games with DH, or doing the hundred things on my “To Do” list.

I want to say writing makes me happy, but I’m not sure it does. It’s a lot of alone time with a keyboard that few understand with the only reward some words on a screen. Is that enough to keep writing!

All the reasons I stopped writing before my children were born are resurfacing, and they are even more convincing now than they were before.

Need more time to think and really assess what I want out of my writing. I already know I will never be able to quit my day job. So what do I want?

The answer to that will determine the future of my writing.

 

4 thoughts on “Doubts

  1. Oof! This is a very difficult thing. I wish you the best in sorting this out.

    I know I’ll never be able to quit my day job (which I’m ok with) but I hope to be able to share my story, to share the stories of others. Is that enough? I don’t know. But I think it is something I have the capacity to do, that is less stressful than other things I’ve done with my spare time. But yeah, I could just read instead. I have a hard time with this. Good luck. I like what you’ve written that I’ve seen.

  2. It’s definitely a hard question to answer. I write to make sense out of things in my head and in the world around me. It helps me to find clarity. But that is obviously not a reason that works for everyone.

    Our time is finite and we should spend it doing the things we love! I’m sure the answer to your question will come to you!

  3. There isn’t a writer in the world that has complete and utter confidence that what they write is good. Being a writer means that you are exploring worlds that have not been explored before, even if that world is you own headspace. You are bound to stumble, or not see the forest for the trees. Yeah, writing for hours, essentially alone is not fun, at times. But keep at it. You have something to say through your words that no one else can.

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